Bottlenecking

Everyone knows that bottle necks are bad, right? Well, technically, that's wrong, as without bottlenecks, beer would come in cylinders that would be impossible to drink from.

Anyway, the point is that we all know that a bottleneck in a process is something which constricts the process. However, if one is to engender a sense of the appropriate placebo effect, and keep the more perceptive people around you from spotting the necessary bullshit, then it's imperative to find some means of bottlenecking.

Bottlenecking is a defensive move that takes one or both of the following forms:

• Disablement - you put the person you wish to bottleneck into such a constrained project that their constant failure is guaranteed. This makes them feel like they're trapped in the jaws of something made of glass and full of a liquid that will quickly drown them.
• Declaration - you point to someone and declare that their method of working is the bottleneck. This will so wrong foot them that all their attempts to explain the efficiency of what they're doing will distract them from the inefficiency of what you're doing. This is akin to scapegoating.